New Month...

Okay. So I haven't been in good place these past couple of weeks, was told to take an online assessment that told me theres a high possibility I may have depression. Big whoop. Just something to add on to my anxiety and the possibility of glaucoma. Im tired of people always ready to tell me somethings wrong with me, if it isnt one thing, its another. I know Im not "normal", but hell, who is? It just pisses me off that the world keeps trying to find things wrong with me when I cant find any good within myself.

So after I found this out, I called a friend asking to talk. Lets just say that didnt happen, due to caking and socializing. Needless to say, I had to let her know how I felt about it. Some people are more selfish than selfless, not their fault. Doesnt mean it doesnt need to be worked on though, just saying.

I woke up this morning and told myself, fuck it, I'm not gonna be mad or sad today. Told myself I wouldnt think any thoughts about love, about her, about financial problems, none of that. Then I looked at the calender: April 1st. Wouldve been a year today. Shook that off. Got in my car and saw the oil light on. Shit, gotta get my damn oil changed. Just one of the many things that requires money. Who knew a 5 year old could grow out of clothes so freakin fast, seems every other week I'm buying new outfits for her.

But whatever, not letting that get me down. Gotta work an 8 hour shift today, gotta love the kids. If my coworker up and magically 'disappears' like hes prone to do when I have 35+ kids, I will calmly cuss his ass out and keep it moving. Not letting anyone walk over me anymore, it gets old really quick.

Its a new month. I'm determined to leave these last couple of months behind and never look back. I'm still trying to find myself, and not giving up on me will be the hardest part...