Friday, February 25, 2011

Finito

So I guess that's it. Over, finished, finito. I feel heart broken. I feel like a failure. The fact that my intentions weren't clear tears me up because I thought I did a better job than that. I'm too mad to cry. I want to hate you but you can't help how you feel. I wish I'd never fallen for you, I wish I'd locked my heart away, I wish I never knew you love...

Thursday, February 24, 2011

3 AM In The Morning...

So I'm randomly awake. I dont feel good, like my body's turned against me. I'm tired N stressing all the time N its taking its toll on me.
I had one of my worst days at work yesterday, I was pissed beyond belief. Sad thing is I deal with it all the time, ignorant people that is, but yesterday it was unbearable to the point I wanted to knock someone out. I've been workin my ass off since I've gotten this raise, how do you work 7 days a week at a job that's only open 5 days a week? Cause others won't step up and do it, but of course its expected of me SMH.
I need to move out by the fall, I feel like I've taken 3 steps back by moving back into my moms house N I'm not comfortable here. I'm used to doing what I want, when I want without someone breathing down my neck all the time, irks my nerves. If I was still in school, I'd transfer to Atlanta, I swear I would.
Overall, things suck right now, N I need them to get a helluva lot better ASAP...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentines Day

As a rule, I'm anti-valentines day. But this year, I actually had a valentine, doesn't stop me from not liking the day...(Lol)
So I spent the first part of the evening with my little one, going through her V-day cards N candy N whatnot. Met up with the gf, had Olive Gardens (I had the chicken alfredo). Watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (freakin hilarious movie), cuddled. She got me a bear N a hippo, White-y N Grey-son (lmao I have a thing for stuffed animals with random names), truffles N sweethearts. Her card was sweet N made me laugh. N that was my Valentines day, overall a wonderful experience.
Quality time is something we've both missed out on lately due to our busy schedules. And even though I don't have a prior Valentines day to compare it to, in my eyes it was absolutely perfect ♥

Peace, love, and bisous,
*Brown Sugar*

Monday, February 7, 2011

Short, Not-So-Sweet, But To The Point

Man can I catch a break?? I just wanna scream at the top of my lungs for like 30 minutes, nonstop. I mean, damn. Random number, but still.
I'm pretty sure I'm not meant to be in a relationship. Twice in two years is bad even for me. Not that this current one is ended (yet) but I must say it doesn't seem promising.
Is something wrong with me?? I've been told, twice now, that I'm a difficult person to be with. So maybe I should be by myself. However, I think I deserve happiness that will last longer that 6 months-2 years. I yearn for a long term commitment but I've never wanted to get married. N when it comes to having children...let's just say I have mixed emotions about it lately, wounds that haven't healed N such.
So where does a relationship go if I have no intent on taking it to the next level?? N if I'm putting forth effort that isn't being noticed, why bother?? Question of the day...

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Valentines Wishes

"A small candlelight dinner and a good redbox movie would be the perfect Valentines day date this year. Nothing fancy, nothing fake..just real quality time"- A.A.
I think that idea sounds absolutely wonderful. Throw in a little wine or some fruity coolers, add R&B music N you've got the real deal. Too bad I won't get to celebrate like originally planned, but you know, whatever. Not like I ever liked Vday to begin with, but I was actually looking forward to having plans. Doesn't help that I'm getting sick again either *sigh*. Disappointment is a real familiar feeling as of late...


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Retail Therapy/ Stress Reliever

Taupe Reva, Charlotte Russe, $25.50. These are the first taupe boots that have actually caught my eye, I think its money well spent. Plus I'm trying the whole "grown up" look this semester, which means heels almost everyday. I'm excited :)

Next purchase will be these Red Satin Rhinestone heels I've been wanting ($22.50, charlotte Russe)

& these dark brown Xa shoes ($14.99 if the sale is still going on)

& these Singsing Grey Madden Girl shoes ($29.90) from Off Broadway Shoes.

http://www.offbroadwayshoes.com/shop/assets/images/products/05Madden_Girl_Singsing_Grey.jpg

Im thinking about putting an application in to Off Broadway, they have the biggest sales N almost all the shoes are really cute.
Well, off to the mall I go. Until next time ♥

Love & bisous,

~*Brown Sugar *~