"Random Thoughts From Rose's Corner"

Since my last blog, things have gone downhill so quickly that I can barely wrap my head around it. Some people are so damn triflin, N I KNOW this, so guess I'm stupid for letting these kind of people back into my life. TRUST NO ONE is gonna have to B put into full affect once again SMDH.

I've recently lost one of the few people who made me genuinely happy. What can I say?? It's a cruel, cruel world we live in. How am I to deal?? I'm told to pray... Okay, that's a start. But that's not helping my heart out none at this point. On top of that, I really hate that someone who is no longer in my life can continue to stake a claim in it. I want nothing to do with you, you're my past N not my future. But my future has to deal with you, regardless of whether we're cool or not. Which really sucks. No one wants to B misunderstood, yet I feel that's where this whole situation is right now.

That's just one thing though. Misunderstanding after misunderstanding. Taking risks KNOWING the consequences, but choosing to ignore the outcome for the sake of being happy in the moment. Not knowing whether the consequences will come sooner or later, but moving forward regardless. Having something so damn precious blow up in such a short period of time?? Horrible. I shouldn't let it affect me this much, but it does. I miss you. I want to forget all the risks, forget the people who don't want to see us together, forget all the negativity that may surround us, simply because I want YOU. I've had a taste, N I don't wanna go back to being "friends". I'd rather B your girlfriend. I love you as if I've known you forever. It tears me apart knowing that we can't B together because so many things stand in the way. Can I just give it all up?? Can I just push it all aside, just for you?? Or is this a test, a test to see whether we can stick this out, go beyond the misery N B content with the fact that we're still able to B apart of each others lives... So many what if's, it's ridiculous. What if our feelings change?? What if we try again N it ends even worse than B4?? What if the misery DOESN'T fade away with time?? What if??

I simply wish that you can B mine again. Fuck what the world has to say, it's between me N you. But is it fair to ask you to join me N have it B 'me N you against the world', is it fair to me for us to have to keep our emotions under wraps cause of this stupid world we live in, is it fair to ask you to B uncomfortable for the sake of my happiness?? No, no it isn't. It isn't fair. Unfortunately this isn't some fairy tale world where wishes come true if you wish upon a star, there are rarely any happy endings. This is the world we live in. N like it or not, this is how the world will remain, cruel, selfish, unrelenting, N we either have to learn to deal with it or let it all go...

~*Brown Sugar*~