WHAT...THE...FUCK??

Ok. I'm sorry, I know I haven't been on here for a minute. But 1st things first. Seeing as I am no longer in a relationship, I have to say, alot of single people are bitter as HELL. Me, on the other hand, I'm not bitter, not a tad bit. I just don't give a fuck. Why?? Well, that's a whole other story for another day.
Now I gotta say, muh heart is most definitely filled with hate. Yea, that's a strong word, but it's oh so very true. But you have to understand, this hate has many aspects to it, I'm not just a hateful person. But when someone pushes me to that point?? Yea, there's no going back. So let's examine these aspects. 1) I hate, hate, HATE the fact that I let muh guard down for someone who sure as HELL didn't appreciate it and took full advantage 2) I hate the fact that muh heart still has ANY sort of emotions when it comes to that same someone, and 3) I hate that I got fucked over so many times by someone who promised me the complete opposite.
The other day, someone mentioned that they did not understand why I harbor such disdain for muh ex. Muh answer was "You just don't understand the bullshit he put me through". Well, if I don't talk about it, it will just marinate inside, correct?? So I think it's about that time to let it all out...

I've never regretted ANYTHING, I repeat, ANYTHING in life.
I take everything as it comes, turn it into a lesson learned.
N that's fine.
But when it comes to YOU, YOU, YOU...
YOU I just don't know...
I'm not gonna say YOU stole muh soul
But dammit, sometimes thats what it feels like.
Hell yea it hurts.
All the lies, all the games.
While you're sitting here trying to pin it all on me,
Lets examine YOUR faults, shall we??
Where to begin, so I can get to where it all ends...
First there was D.R. (no names need be said for you to recall)
That situation was just the first of MANY
Who else, who else?? As I remember there was an X.G.,
Oh, N don't forget the biggest of them all,
"Smashed the homies!!" should be this bitches theme song
Lied to you, played you MANY MANY times...
Well damn, never mind, no WONDER you're still cool
You did the same to me, played me for a fool
SMH I was stupid as hell to EVER believe you
To EVER believe IN you
To EVER trust you
To EVER have trust IN you
To give myself to you...
Stupidity. Just alot of that goin around huh??
Damn shame.
Oh, but let's press on.
Paranoia. Paranoia caused you to accuse me, your girlfriend,
Your 'wife-to-be' (SMH yea right)
Accuse me of 'offing' you.
What kind of boyfriend goes days without
Talking to their 'significant other'??
What kind of person goes out of their way
To hurt the person they 'love'
Because they find the tiniest thing
Offensive??
What kind of person are you??
So quick to judge.
So quick to point fingers
So quick to blame it all on me...
Who the FUCK are you??
Many many nights I cried alone in bed
Over stupid petty shit you'd pull
So much stupid petty shit...
Yea, I remember it ALL.
Do you remember??
Remember.
Remember crying on my shoulder??
Mostly over HER,
How she kept fuckin wit your head...
Remember sharing my bed??
Remember making pointless, pointless plans
That would just be void in the end??
Do you remember??
Don't try to pin this shit on me.
Fuck that.
All respect I've had for you is GONE.
Won't apologize or own up to when you're wrong.
Why the FUCK would I want to put you there again??
As if I didn't see the pain it caused the FIRST time around
WHY THE FUCK would I even care
To put you in such a position that you've been in before??
WHY THE FUCK do I STILL care??
Care enough to spare ya fuckin feelings??
Fuck that shit. Fuck it ALL.
I REFUSE to fall in to your bullshit again.
I REFUSE.
I was stupid N naive the entire time I was with you
Well now it's time to grow the fuck up
Unlike your 'first' lil bitch,
I won't welcome you back with open arms.
HELL no.
I'm moving on. Without you.
Thinking back, I don't know WHY, WHY the HELL did I stick around??
Oh, haha, that's right.
This stupid little thing called my heart.
Never again.
Thanks again.
You've fucked me up so bad,
But you've also fucked me over for the last time.
Yes, I gave up the epitome of 'us',
How could I stand to stare it in the face??
Yes, YOU pushed me to this point in muh life.
I hope ya next gal fucks with you completely
Physically, mentally, emotionally,
Up, over, and around again
And maybe THEN you'll know,
Maybe THEN you'll feel
HALF of the fucked up things you've done to me...